A Greek philosopher died of laughter when he watched a drunken donkey try to eat some figs.
It has been over a two months since I’ve had any meaningful amount of caffeine. January 11, 2012 to be precise. I’ve had some chocolate in the time since then but that is all. This is highly significant for me. In case you don’t know me I generally have had at least 2 20oz cups of coffee during the day and at least one large Monster energy drink every night. I also generally work from 12:00 - about 03:30.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve gone without Caffeine, I have periodically abstained for 3-4 days since sometime in college. I know what to expect. The first day I feel fine, maybe a little tired, especially if it is a long day. On day two is when it all starts. First comes the exhaustion. No matter how much I sleep I am tired and groggy, this is why I try to do this when I will have at least two days off in a row. Next I get hungry. (I have always thought that the hunger is my body trying to fight off the exhaustion). Next up the headaches start. If I am lucky at this point I am just exhausted and in blinding pain, if not I’m still ravenously hungry as well. Depending on how hooked I am when I quit the headaches can last for one to two days. Much to my surprise and delight this round of detoxing had only a day of headaches. This is particularly nice because, aside from being quite painful, once the headaches go away usually all the other symptoms have gone away. I am usually still tired, but it is a different, less urgent type of tired than what I experience when I am going through withdrawal.
What was different this time is that I decided to see how it went for one more day after I was done with my detox. I went to work that day fully expecting to make it half way through my shift at Brown before I had to break down and get a Mountain Dew or something, but much to my surprise I went straight through my shift with no issues. I did this the next day as well with the same results. With this monumental discovery at my feet I said I can make it a week, and I was right. Sometime around day 8 I said I can make it two weeks, and I was right again! Much to my surprise I felt LESS tired than I did when I was caffeinated all the time. So when I slid past two weeks I said I wonder if I can make it a whole month. At the same time though it has become less about can I stay awake and not be tired, that is obviously the case, and more about I LOVE coffee and miss having it. I also like Monster energy drinks and Dr. Pepper, but it was the no coffee that bothered me the most by far. I made it through the month though and said to myself I think I can make it two months, and I made it through that with little problem as well. The biggest issue that I had was when Starbucks ran out of the herbal tea that I like, I only like one of their herbals and I won’t drink decaf so my relaxation beverage was tough on a few of those days, but I did make it through.
The past couple of weeks I have been more tired than before and there have been a couple of days where I would have loved to have a coffee or Monster but I’ve abstained, I’ve already decided that I’ll go back to coffee when I go to breakfast in about a week. It will be interesting to see how much coffee affects me and perhaps I will write some more about that once it has happened.
I don’t know what will happen after I caffeinate again. I think that I will try to not drink as much as I have in the past, but I can see me going back there once the tolerance builds up, perhaps I will try to abstain some days or only drink coffee earlier in my day. I knew that I was addicted to caffeine before, but not how much and not what it was doing to me either. I don’t think that I want to get back to that, but I do miss coffee.
So somewhere along the line my life went off track went out of focus. When I moved down to MD I was not making enough money to survive.
I should go back. I’ve always been good with money. To me cash was just another number and when I treated it as such I had no problems with it. I had accounts set up for different types of savings and made sure to never rob myself. So I transitioned away from Citizens & Northern (the bank I use to work for) and into other jobs. My main focus became getting out of my parents house and moving to the “Baltimore Area”. I knew a few people down here and in the D.C. area as well. Plus I liked the area every time that I’ve been down to visit.
I wanted to do it right though, I wanted to make sure that I was making enough so that I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck. I wanted to not have to use my credit cards to live. I actually turned down a job that I was offered at the first career fair that I went to. It takes me about three and a half hours to drive to my parents house from here. I was offered a position (teller) at a credit union, they called me back before I even made it home. It would have been a full time position but the pay wouldn’t have been quite enough at $11/hr and having just gotten out of banking I wasn’t particularly interested in it anyway.
Time passed, I applied to more jobs, I signed up with headhunters. I had some interviews but the call backs that I got weren’t worth taking.
I became myopic in my desire to live here and get away from my parents. I cared only about the results and not at all about the means. I was desperate in my desire to move to this area, anything else would have been total failure. Still, despite my efforts nothing had come. I was working at the seasonal calendar kiosk for the local Borders and had decided that perhaps I should start looking at home for a job as well when I was called by the Fruit Stand and offered a job. The job was part time operator and it paid less than the full time job that I had turned down a year earlier. I took the job and got my things in order to move in with my friend. I also scored an interview with M&T bank or the same day that my first day at The Fruit Stand would be. The interview was a fiasco, I don’t know what happened, but it is all for the best really. I didn’t want to work for a bank, I had an issue with M&T bank plus the job would have been in the Marley Station branch and well just fuck that.
My last day at Borders (fun fact that’s the second company that I’ve worked for that has gone out of business after I left) was Thursday, first day at FS was Friday. That was definitely one of the worst decisions that I’d made up to that point.
This was going to be one large post originally, but I think instead that I will break it up. So good reader I hope you’re enjoying this and I will be posting more at a later date.
Well I figure I might as well check out tumblr and see how this works for when I have more to say than 140 characters will allow. I did get the iPhone app so maybe I’ll use this more than my actual blog, maybe I will try to figure out a way to have these posts show up there.
Well I feel like if anyone is actually reading this that they deserve more than my ramblings about wishing that I had the attention span to bog more. So I have had this week off (well Sunday night through Saturday) from my jobs. I got more sleep the first two days than I usually get in an entire week, it was glorious. Having time to relax and recharge is nice. In the spirit of that I decided to spend the last few days at home with my parents. Not that visiting them is stress free, but it does remove many of the stresso rs that still exist when I’m in MD, as well as the temptation to
waste spend money that I shouldn’t.